It terrifies me, more than just a little bit when people start talking about change. I am not talking about just rearranging the seating chart or what time I go to church. CHANGE. It is ominous, it makes my hands sweat and my heart stop.
My life has CHANGED so dramatically in the last three years... the end of a marriage, a break-up with my home church of nearly ten years, two moves and financial struggles. The thought of more change? Fills me with all the joyous anticipation of being punched in the chest. Not a happy thought.
Recently in church our pastor talked about the eagle stirring the nest, getting the young ready to fly. Not right after they have hatched, not after they are bigger than their parents... somehow that momma eagle just KNOWS when its time to make the nest a little less cozy, to push them out so that they can fly.
I trust God, really I do... but this change thing? I don't trust it at all. Even though I have seen that through tremendous upheaval and drama He will pull me through and put me upon firmer ground. Where I stand now is a firm rock, a much stronger foundation than the shifting sands I stood on before.
There is that ME part of me, that is so afraid... what will happen next? I just got HERE... right here, why do I have to change again? I am not ready, so not ready, really not ready. Change is painful, it requires sacrifice, and it can absolutely devastate our concept of now.
There is that part of me that has been asking for more, seeking Him deeper, wanting to grow. So what is it that I fear? That He is answering my prayer? He is the God that keeps His promises. He continues to broaden my knowledge in Him.
And then... I remember, not all change is bad. SO change happens... I have been talking about, and really clinging tightly to the three BIG BAD changes that happened in the last three years. It just occurred to me that there have been other changes as well, many many more changes that have been absolutely amazing. I think perhaps I was looking at the glass from the wrong direction...
My life has CHANGED so dramatically in the last three years... the end of a marriage, a break-up with my home church of nearly ten years, two moves and financial struggles. The thought of more change? Fills me with all the joyous anticipation of being punched in the chest. Not a happy thought.
Recently in church our pastor talked about the eagle stirring the nest, getting the young ready to fly. Not right after they have hatched, not after they are bigger than their parents... somehow that momma eagle just KNOWS when its time to make the nest a little less cozy, to push them out so that they can fly.
I trust God, really I do... but this change thing? I don't trust it at all. Even though I have seen that through tremendous upheaval and drama He will pull me through and put me upon firmer ground. Where I stand now is a firm rock, a much stronger foundation than the shifting sands I stood on before.
There is that ME part of me, that is so afraid... what will happen next? I just got HERE... right here, why do I have to change again? I am not ready, so not ready, really not ready. Change is painful, it requires sacrifice, and it can absolutely devastate our concept of now.
There is that part of me that has been asking for more, seeking Him deeper, wanting to grow. So what is it that I fear? That He is answering my prayer? He is the God that keeps His promises. He continues to broaden my knowledge in Him.
And then... I remember, not all change is bad. SO change happens... I have been talking about, and really clinging tightly to the three BIG BAD changes that happened in the last three years. It just occurred to me that there have been other changes as well, many many more changes that have been absolutely amazing. I think perhaps I was looking at the glass from the wrong direction...
God has moved us out of a season of turmoil and rejection and placed us firmly in a new church. A life-sustaining, life-giving AMAZING church family. After so many years of trying on churches, only to discover that they are the wrong fit for us we have truly found and have been given the perfect fit for us out of all the churches around! Wow! Okay, so that is CHANGE... and it didn't hurt one bit.
Next? For the first time in my walk with Jesus, I get to put HIM first. No excuses, no hiding, I am totally in the perfect place in Him and in me... He comes first. Every day, in every way... another CHANGE that didn't hurt, and is quite liberating.
Quasi-finally... there is really more than this, but I like to work with the magic of threes... Thirdly, I have been blessed with an abundance of friends who love me truly, madly deeply. What is significant is that they are unique and diverse, liberal and conservative... and they are not just friends limited to the four walls of a church.
It is these changes that have... well, CHANGED my life. And it is these changes that will ripple out and touch people beyond my little bubble of life. These changes of growth and life are the new chapters of my future. And they do NOT cause me to fear, rather I step forward and with each passing moment I get to rejoice!!
10 In a desert land he found him,
in a barren and howling waste.
He shielded him and cared for him;
he guarded him as the apple of his eye,
11
like an eagle that stirs up its nest
and hovers over its young,
that spreads its wings to catch them
and carries them aloft.
Deuteronomy 32:10-11
10 In a desert land he found him,
in a barren and howling waste.
He shielded him and cared for him;
he guarded him as the apple of his eye,
11
like an eagle that stirs up its nest
and hovers over its young,
that spreads its wings to catch them
and carries them aloft.
